I had typed, "This Is What I Waited For?" as the intended title for this post, but then realized that I was ending the sentence with a preposition and changed it to its current form. Things like that bother me. Though I'll often begin a sentence with a conjunction for effect and to punctuate the added thought, and sometimes actually leave the preposition at the end because it would be just too awkward sounding to correct it, when I catch myself I fix things like them unless writing them for an intended reason.
Even there, in offering that explanation of the change in the post title, I lead up to the point I'm about to make which is that I desperately need a vacation - from myself!
Since Christmas, I think, I was waiting for the school year to end so I could start my annual summer vacation. By late March I was practically dancing with eager anticipation of that last day of school. It came two weeks ago, and it went. Now, here I am with weeks ahead of me during which I'll be my own primary companion and I'm finding that what I really need most isn't a break from school, but a break from being me.
I drive myself crazy with indecision among other things. I can sit here at 6:30 in the morning with a whole day ahead of me on which to do anything I choose, and find myself in this very same chair getting hungry for lunch with nothing worthwhile accomplished because I couldn't decide what to do. And when it comes time for that actual lunch? It can be overwhelming a choice if I opt for something other than my big salad. The difference between a cheese steak made from a leftover hunk of London broil and a salami and cheese sandwich would seem to be of apparent earth shattering consequence when it comes to making my decision. Then, as soon as the first bit of whatever I've chosen hits my taste buds, I start regretting that I hadn't opted for the alternate.
It's like that all day when I'm here alone. Not only with indecision but with self-motivation too. I have a number of things I'd like to get done for myself this summer. Yet, with the passing of each morning I find myself on the other side of noon telling myself that it's too late to start and that I'll have a better chance of beginning all fresh and rested tomorrow morning.
To be sure, it's not only myself driving me crazy at the moment. There are things of much more significance the courses of which will be charted over the span of the next few days. I'm playing a waiting game while I'm writing this, and to be certain, I'm losing the game miserably. I want to take a dose of something that will allow me to sleep until I need to be awake to tend to things that will need tending.
My best buddy from high school is now lying in a hospital somewhere in Boston with an annoying problem that seems to have gone into a chronic form. And his spirits are higher than mine! Yep. I need a break from this - from ME for a while.
I saw this little guy in the Wal Mart parking lot a few days ago, and when I got back I looked him up online. Seemingly, he might look a lot better than he performs if this review is typical for his make and model. Unfortunately, it speaks as poorly about the scooter as it does for what "customer service" has come to mean since I was a kid and the customer was always right. In this guy's case the manufacturer and distributor got into it as they often do with each blaming the other and not really caring about the fact that the customer ended up with a defective product. It's like good old Wal Mart not caring at all these days about how long the checkout lines are. Never has "Caveat emptor!" been as poignant an admonition as it is now.
...what to do after lunch? Oh! Wait...
What IS for lunch?